Greetings Mayhemmers, since I’m the guy who watches TNA the most as the main hosts on this show, but we never seem to talk about it (mainly because it sucks) I decided to at least use my journalistic integrity and live blog about it each week. This will be written live as I watch Impact, so enjoy!
Segment 1: Recrap, Roode segment (surprise, surprise), Bully segment
- I am begging for an Impact that doesn’t open with Roode or Hogan, I really am
- Remember the Ultimate Sacrifice match? That was a really cool concept
- I’m pretty sure Jarrett held it for a lot longer than Roode has
- Boy you know, you’d think the main event for the PPV was a four-way (it’s totally not)
- Hogan should just never speak ever
- If they really wanted to be innovative, Hogan should have said if Roode wins he doesn’t have to defend his title at Sacrifice
- This week is the most normal I’ve seen Jeff’s hair look in a decade
- Bully really is the best heel in TNA
Segment 2: Gail/Maddy segment, Match 1: Velvet Vs. Hooters
- The secret is out Madison and I are dating, I’m the guy she is talking about
- I never understood the “butt bump” maneuver for females, is it just a mocking thing?
- I’ve noticed that TNA is doing far less of the snatch camera angles
- I know Gail’s finisher is Eat De Feet, but she only uses one foot…is that an Asian thing?
Segment 3: AJ segment, Jeff segment, Match 2: Red Vs. Blue FINAL BATTLE
- Nice to see someone knows who AJ is feuding with
- Jeff needs to stop using drugs…seriously
- God, if this really is the final battle of Red and Blue, why isn’t it on PPV?
- Oh, never mind…there’s Bully
- So Cal Val sighting!
- This is the most TV time D’Lo has had since he wore a chest protector
Segment 4: Crimson segment, RVD segment
- Oh good…Red is talking
- That was sarcasm.
- Wow…that segment was worthless except when the cameraman decided to zoom in on a girls’ boobs
- RVD must have been really high when he read the Iliad
Segment 5: Match 2 (for realsies): Aries Vs. Shiima, Kaz/Daniels segment
- Yay! Something (hopefully) good!!
- Solid match by these two, it’s a shame Aries has no one else to defend against though
- Yeah no one has ever had a contract broken Daniels
Segment 6: RVD segment, Kaz/Daniels segment
- Wow, way to bury the lead RVD, a ladder match…now I don’t have to watch the main event
- Yawn. I hate this “feud”
- This is the longest “non-feud” in the history of wrestling
- AJ you saw the pictures and you freaked out, you clearly do know what they have over you
- Umm…that’s a hug, this whole thing is supposed to be based off a hug?
- Aren’t they just implying AJ of doing something Flair has flat out said he’s done since he got signed by TNA?
Segment 7: Match 3: Devon Vs. Robbie E, Storm segment
- Well that was mercifully short
- These guys need to stop feuding though
- I don’t care about Storm anymore
- They should have given Storm the belt, given how stale Roode is
Segment 8: Devon yelling, Abyss segment, Joseph Park segment, Anderson segment
- So Devon is complaining about it not being a fair fight, yet he has won every match? That doesn’t make sense
- So for being such a great lawyer, it took him several months to find out what I could have looked up in 2 minutes
- Ha, he thinks the Impact Zone is a large crowd
- Seriously this gimmick should have stopped two months ago
- Shouldn’t he have filed a missing persons report by this point?
- “I’m tired of hearing this crap” Bully Ray, the voice of reason
- Leslie Nielsen could have found Abyss by now
- It’s a shame this has dragged out so long to the point I don’t care, because AbyssPark does this bit really well
- Anderson is just kinda useless at this point, can someone bring Pope back?
Segment 9: Slammiversary segment, Angle segment, RVD segment, Match 4: RVD Vs. Jeff Vs. Anderson Vs. Roode
- Wow did we really need to be reminded of that awful nWo angle?
- Kurt is pretty great at bringing the focus back to him
- There’s been way too little wrestling on this show
- WAY TOO MUCH RVD ON THIS FUCKING SHOW!!!!!
- RVD has been in over half the segments on this show…which can only mean he’s losing at Sacrifice #TNAlogic
- Honestly, Roode should just go outside the ring and make sure RVD doesn’t win
Segment 10: Match cont., Abyss segment
- King Mo just looks like a less bloated Devon
- Honestly, there’s not a single man in this match I’d want to be the TNA Champion
- Anderson is the biggest idiot ever
- Ladder match, yet somehow RVD will lose
- Um….so Abyss is back? What?
Logic: 2 Laganas out of 5
Wrestling: 2 Laganas out of 5
Overall: 4 Laganas out of 10